concern for siblings

Mean Big Brother (by 8 year old sister)

1 mean brother

2 tared books 

3 hurt sisters

4 broken fones 

5 riped up homework 

My second grader is learning about poetry at school. This is something she wrote on her own during free time at school. Interesting and heartbreaking to see how the poetry brings out some of her concerns and tells so much about our home.  It is tough living in the same house as Calvin. He can be so difficult. We feel for the girls.  Almost all families I run across with extremely difficult children, especially those with major behavior problems do not have younger siblings in the mix. If they do, it is one sibling at the most.  We have 3 little girls in the house and it is a challenge, at times, to keep them safe and comfortable.  We know they are strong girls and hope that what they learn from their experience gives them compassion, understanding and strength to outweigh the bitterness and pain.  I am so glad they have each other. They are such good friends and delight so much in each other. They are easy girls. I know it is a special blessing to have them as daughters.

And for the record, Calvin has torn up probably more like 30 books, has broken 2 phones and ripped up homework of his sisters a handful of times and his own countless times. 

Tonight at FHE, Clare shared a lesson from the Friend called "Bully Busters" which was a cute story about two girls who were feeling bad about a boy who was getting bullied on the bus. Together with one of the mom's they decided to take a special treat to the boy who was getting bullied. The girls took him some lollipops and doorbell ditched them. They watched him excitedly open the door and get the treat. 

After the lesson we asked the kids about the story to make sure they understood the point of the story, (to be compassionate to those who need kindness). Then we asked them if there is anyone they know who needs some extra love if they are having a hard time with a bully. My 5 year old, who is very articulate and doesn't miss a beat said, "well, me and Clare need some extra love because Calvin is always hurting us and yelling at us."  It was said in total innocence, not meaning to place blame on Calvin, but recognizing that he is a bully to them.  They are dear little ones. We try hard to give them extra attention, one on one time and love since we know that they are burdened with extra stress in the home.  People sometimes as me how they can help and I think one of my new answers will be show some extra love to my girls!  My usual answers are "I don't know" or "nothing I'm fine"