special soul

Tonight I was having a conversation with my girls (age 5 and turning 8 next week) about keeping the commandments, following Jesus, etc.  One of my kids asked in all seriousness, "will Calvin go to heaven or hell?" I am sure she asked this because he hits, screams, swears and is overall not very christ-like in his attributes so I could see how she might think those behaviors would not be considered keeping the commandments.  I explained that even though Calvin behaves very poorly some of the time, he is doing his best and Jesus will judge (not us) so we need not worry about that.  If he is doing the best he can, he will go to Heaven for sure. If his brain damage does not make him act the way he would like to, God will judge him on the intent of his heart.

Some relevant background for those who don't know me: my personal belief is that innocent children and people housed in minds that are unable make mature and informed decisions will not be held to the same standard on judgement day as those who knowingly and purposefully sin against God of their own free choice. I also believe that we lived with God before we came to this earth and that we chose to come to earth and receive a mortal body with all of the challenges that come with mortality, including illness, aches and pain.  After this life, everyone will receive a body restored to its perfect frame. For many of us, it will be our 20-30 year old body in the prime of life. For others, it will be a body that is perfect in ways they never experienced on earth. They blind man will have sight. The crippled will be whole, the sick will be healthy, the mentally ill will have sound mind.

Now back to our conversation. My 8 year old only partially understood the answer. While she acknowledged that Calvin has perhaps a disadvantage and is doing his best with an imperfect mind, she also said that she has a really hard time sometimes too because of piano practice!  She does not know what a blessing it is to have ones hardest challenge in life be the requirement to practice the piano for 30 minutes/day!

As the conversation moved in other directions I paused to reflect on my boy and the soul that is housed in his imperfect body. Did he know before he came to earth what his life would be like? Did he know he would be difficult? Did he see how he would behave? Know that people would not want to be his friend? That people would be scared of him? That he would cause heartache and pain?  Did he agree to all of this knowing it was his mission on earth?  As I though about these things I had a brief vision of who Calvin really is. The noble soul he is.The pure humility of his character. And it gives me reason to do better. To be more patient and more loving. To be more worthy to be his mother.