For a couple of years I have been somewhat bitter about high functioning autistic children who receive tons of services, are able to function in mainstream classes and are making positive progress with exceptional support and help while I have watched my own child make backwards progress over the course of 3 years move from mainstream school to a position where he will probably never be in mainstream school again. I have tried to get him supports and services he needs but he has been denied services by insurance and regional center.
Most people who know Calvin assume he is autistic. When we are out in public and he is on the ground crying or throwing a fit we say, "oh, don't worry, he'll be fine, he is autistic" and then people say, "oh, I understand." Calvin goes to a school with a population made up of more than 80% autistic students, all of whom are getting great therapy in their homes to support their difficult behaviors.
Well, after trying for years to get what I need for Calvin through the avenues I knew I finally decided that the only way to help him is to have him formally diagnosed as autistic as well. While his true disability stems from his brain damage, he shares enough characteristics with the autistic population that he easily fits within the DSM criteria for a diagnosis. Last week he was diagnosed with autism by a psychiatrist. Now we will (hopefully) move forward with behavior therapy in our home and maybe even re apply to the regional center in a couple of years.
Oh Denise, LIFE!!! How are we going to make it? I read your post about not taking another person's trials, and I agree... I think we just have to work so hard to survive our own that we become stronger and soon we don't realize how much we've changed. Mitchell's passing has just been unreal. I actually hate to think I AM going to survive without him... It's so hard. But then I think of losing my spouse and at least I have someone to cry to, who is hurting just as much as me... etc. Reading about Calivn is so familiar to many things we have gone through as well. Jansen was diagnosed with autism just before age two, and I was so hurt and offended but without a diagnosis we could not receive any services so we cried and went with it. We have gotten so much help and I'm so grateful for it... even if at times it was just someone who was trying to help Jansen that I used to cry to and I unleashed all my anxiety, and frustration! You are an amazing mother, and someone whom I have always looked up to! I know it is so hard, and I'm so glad you keep this blog so one day you can look back and say I really did that?!? I am AMAZING!!! Because everyone who reads this, knows that you are. This probably isn't the place for me to post all this stuff... but I'm too tired to find your email..lol. Hope you are well. Thank you for thinking of me and my family during this very hard time. I love you!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Kellie