We have had a rough couple of weeks with the bus. Calvin has been driven to school a couple of times and once we had to go pick him up at school because he was having such difficulty even getting on the bus and getting his seat belt on so they could leave.
There have also been numerous complaints filed by the driver and aide and we've had several phone calls and even one meeting to discuss how we could help Calvin be more safe on the bus.
At first I was kind of baffled as to why we were having so many problems on the bus. Last year, we did have a few rough days but overall, things were okay. It was just the usual kind of thing with Calvin where some days are better than others. For some reason, this year problems on the bus have been the norm.
We set up an incentive program where he would receive points for being good on the bus. We discussed what else we could change and even discussed the possibility that perhaps the bus driver or aide were not a good match for Calvin's personality.
Most special education personnel are over the top friendly and nice because they know that special needs kids need lots of positive reinforcement. Our previous drivers had said "HELLO!" and "How are you?" every day when Calvin would get on the bus. This driver never said "hi" never cracked a smile and the aide was no different. They were pretty grouchy people. Add a grouchy Calvin to that and it is bound to be miserable.
At home, to try and help the situation we had let Calvin take not one, but THREE electronic devices on the bus (DS, Kindle Fire and MP3 player), so there should be no time for him to get into trouble. So the only time that there could be a problem would be if as he was getting on the bus there was some kind of power struggle before he could even sit down and get a seat belt on and use his electronics. It seemed pretty crazy that each day the 2 minutes of interaction between the driver,aide and Calvin were resulting in major conflict.
I was on the bus one morning helping Calvin into his seat and the aide started talking to Calvin in a very mean and stern voice because he was whistling and then yelled at him to hurry up and get in his seat. It was a pretty heated response for a minor infraction. When dealing with Calvin it is important not to show him that you are upset and to be able to ignore small problems (annoying noises) for the good of the bigger problems (being safe and finding a seat).
I called the district special education bus person and told her about the incident, repeating my concern that perhaps the driver and aide are not patient enough for Calvin. Not many people are. She suggested we try another more experience aide for the drive home.
That afternoon Calvin was being difficult as he loaded the bus after school. The bus driver refused to drive with Calvin on the bus and told the school to "drag him off the bus". The school does not drag anyone anywhere, especially down stairs on a bus so they told the driver they would have to wait for Calvin to calm down so they could get him off the bus in a safe way. The driver refused to wait, saying he had a schedule to keep and insisted that they remove Calvin. The school again said that it would not be safe so the driver said, either you call the parents or I call the police. ( I didn't know this entire story 'til the next afternoon or I would have not put Calvin on the bus with him again under any circumstances). Dave happened to be home and Iwas at Costco and didn't hear my phone ring so dave went to get him.
A disaster was brewing. I knew it. Dave knew it. I called the administrator of bussing one more time and made sure she knew it too. She was starting to consider changing drivers (it is difficult since the route they drive is part of their contract) but I think she was starting to see she had no choice.
The next day I got a call from an administrator at Calvin's school telling me that when Calvin had arrived at school that day and personnel were helping him off the bus there was an incident and the bus driver had hit Calvin! WHAT THE HECK!?! A bus driver hit my special needs child? Apparently Calvin wasn't cooperating as he got off the bus. Calvin called the aide a bitch and the driver decided to try to intervene and said something like "wanna fight?" Seriously, how professional is it for a grown man to ask a child to fight? Anyway, Calvin continued to call everyone BI*&H and took a swing at the aide. The bus driver hit Calvin's arm away. The school personnel say it was a hit. The bus personnel say it was a block. Either way, it was pretty unprofessional and it is under investigation. Meanwhile, Calvin got a new driver and aide. The two nicest people in the world (as most special education people are) and things has been blissfully smooth ever since. Calvin will not be perfect in any situation but at least things are safe and back to what our regular normal is.
The current driver is a sub so we probalby won't have him for long but I did let the bus administrator know that Calvin won't ever ride the bus with the regular driver again.
Never a dull moment around here!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
another one of those days -
It is nice that we are semi stable and our crazy days are not as frequent as they once were. It has been two weeks since Calvin missed the bus but today was another one of those days.
7:15am- calvin on the bus - grumpy and barely made it.
7:40am- dispatch calls and asks me to drive and meet the bus to get Calvin off the bus
load up the car with the girls and go meet Calvin drag him off the bus and into the car. he is really upset now because since he didn't stay safe on the bus he has lost a privilege. Calvin tried running from me a couple of times and we were on a busy busy road during morning rush hour. I had 4 kids in my car and felt completely panic stricken. I told Calvin I would have to call 911 if he ran away from me and I was serious. It was dangerous and not acceptable. Calvin got in the car and we all went home.
8am - home to feed the girls breakfast.
I had no extra cards in the back pocket today and there was no way I could be out the door to get Calvin to school on time so we just worked toward getting the girls ready
8:30 - clare and friend to school
9 - lex to school
10 - calvin to school
(this may sound like an uneventful morning but insert lots of screaming, crying, whining and threatening to get the full effect).
sweet little jo who was basically in the car from 7:45-10 fell asleep for a little cat nap around 9:45 and slept for a while in her car seat. Since we were already down in SD we stopped at the children's hospital to pick up some contacts and visit a friend who is in the hospital at the moment. When I arrived at the hospital I parked in the parking garage and read a book while jo slept for about 30 minutes more. She is a sweet baby.
2pm Calvin home from school (it is his early day)
8pm on the way home from scouts Calvin apologizes for everything he did today. I wonder how much of his rage is anger management problems and how much is epilepsy. He sure does have a sweet side.
A year ago, we had days like this 3-4 days a week since Calvin was getting sent home from school so often and was completely miserable there. I am so thankful that we are much more stable now and this kind of thing is the exception rather than the rule. Calvin's school has been great for him and for me.
7:15am- calvin on the bus - grumpy and barely made it.
7:40am- dispatch calls and asks me to drive and meet the bus to get Calvin off the bus
load up the car with the girls and go meet Calvin drag him off the bus and into the car. he is really upset now because since he didn't stay safe on the bus he has lost a privilege. Calvin tried running from me a couple of times and we were on a busy busy road during morning rush hour. I had 4 kids in my car and felt completely panic stricken. I told Calvin I would have to call 911 if he ran away from me and I was serious. It was dangerous and not acceptable. Calvin got in the car and we all went home.
8am - home to feed the girls breakfast.
I had no extra cards in the back pocket today and there was no way I could be out the door to get Calvin to school on time so we just worked toward getting the girls ready
8:30 - clare and friend to school
9 - lex to school
10 - calvin to school
(this may sound like an uneventful morning but insert lots of screaming, crying, whining and threatening to get the full effect).
sweet little jo who was basically in the car from 7:45-10 fell asleep for a little cat nap around 9:45 and slept for a while in her car seat. Since we were already down in SD we stopped at the children's hospital to pick up some contacts and visit a friend who is in the hospital at the moment. When I arrived at the hospital I parked in the parking garage and read a book while jo slept for about 30 minutes more. She is a sweet baby.
2pm Calvin home from school (it is his early day)
8pm on the way home from scouts Calvin apologizes for everything he did today. I wonder how much of his rage is anger management problems and how much is epilepsy. He sure does have a sweet side.
A year ago, we had days like this 3-4 days a week since Calvin was getting sent home from school so often and was completely miserable there. I am so thankful that we are much more stable now and this kind of thing is the exception rather than the rule. Calvin's school has been great for him and for me.
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