one step forward and two backwards

This has been a super tough week! I am not sure if Calvin is tired, stressed or what is going on but boy have we been struggling at home.

We have missed the morning bus 2 times this week. In years past I used to feel really guilty, dumb and wonder what the heck was wrong with me that I couldn't get my child dressed and to school like the rest of the kids there. Now I realize that it isn't always my fault. I definitely have to put on my best game to have things go smoothly, sometimes things still go south.

Yesterday I set my alarm, as always for 6:15. Made breakfast as scheduled but Calvin refused to eat, he wasn't ready when the bus came so we missed that at 7am. Then he cried and yelled and threw a fit becuase it was so sad to miss the bus and it was Mom's fault! I got the girls ready and we hit the road at 8:25 so that Clare could be dropped off and not have to be late to her school. We arrived at his school at 9:15 where he was still throwing a fit. His teachers weren't going to physically drag him in so we just waited. I finally hit the road again at 10:15 after Calvin turned himself around and went to school for the day. Jo took a 15 minute cat nap on the way home and so since she wasn't getting a good nap anyway we went to COSTCO on the way home.

This morning he threw an hour long fit and then turned himself around and got ready so I could take him to school. He did a good job getting himself ready and stayed in a good mood until we arrived at school where he was happy to start his day!! Who knows what makes the difference between a really good day, one like yesterday and one like today.

One of the things that had been helping our morning routine, most of the time, is to have a breakfast schedule. ONe of the major/common causes of morning breakdowns for Calvin is not having what he wants to eat for breakfat. So, I let him make a schedule for our breakfast menu. Tuesday- oatmeal. Wed- pancakes. Th- waffles Fri-eggs and toast. Sat- oven pancake. Sun-crepes. Monday - cereal or leftover crepes. For Calvin it really helps to know what to expect and it helps me too so that I can have breakfast going without having to talk to him about what he wants and wait for him to decide, argue or change his mind.

How's Calvin's new school?

I get asked this at least once a day! We've been at Calvin's new school for 3 weeks. I think things are going well so far. Calvin loves going to school which is great. I am still getting used to not having details about his day sent home for me to see! The only time I have to hear from the school about an incident is if there is a manual restraint (if they lay a hand on my child, they are required to tell me about it and as part of their training, teachers learn how to hold a child without hurting them if it is necessary for the safety of the child or others around that child). There have been a few instances where Calvin has had to be restrianed. Last week he had a bad day where he started hitting a teacher and had to be restrained and then tried to run away and had to be restrained. It sounds like it was a very rough morning but once he turned himself around he had a good day. He has had a couple of other incedents but they tell me that overall he is doing well and learning and following directions. When he does have a rough time, once the bell rings and he moves to the next class he is able to start fresh and get back on track. We have our 30 (school) day IEP scheduled for the end of MAY. At that time I will get more information about how he has been doing so far and what his strengths and weaknesses are. We will set our goals for the year. I am looking forward to the meeting so that I can learn more about how things are going at school. Usually I dread these types of meetings so I guess it is one more good change to count that I am looking forward to this meeting. We are still having a few struggles with the bus -- mostly that it is too long. 90 min in the morning and 90-120 minutes in the afternoon depending on # of kids on the bus, traffic, etc. Everytime I get a phone call from the school dave says, "how many more phone calls do you think we will get before they kick Calvin out of their school?" The school tells us that they can handle Calvin but we still have our doubts/concern that he will be too difficult for them.

It could be worse....

I guess we should be grateful we dont' go to this school! http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/kindergartener-charged-battery-why-criminalizing-kids-175600847.html

Contacts woes

Calvin has been begging for contacts for years. At our appointment last summer we asked our Dr. about getting them (thinking he'd say no, Calvin is too young, but instead he said, "sure, why not?" It took a few months to get an appointment with the optrician we needed to see and to get our first contact lens to try. We noticed Calvin turning his head and favoring his good eye and he also said he liked his glasses better. So, we went back to the optrician to try another lens. We did this 4 times and nine months later we finally have a contact that works. I'm not sure if Calvin is super fussy or if he has tricky eyes. He only needs a contact in one eye. Meanwhile we have had some trouble with taking care of the contacts. Early on, he lost one at school, he took one out at a football game. A little later, he took one out and threw it on the floor when he was mad, he took one out and tore it in 1/2 when he was mad, took one out and accidently ripped it while holding it and waiting for mom to wash her hands. He took one out on the bus becuase he was mad and didn't want to ride the bus! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! We were quite understanding of the first few times Calvin lost or took out a contact since this is a new experience for him and it was truely an accident if he lost or took one out while not at home. Now he is a somewhat more experienced contact user and he has decided to take out a contact and destroy it when he's mad, we are a little less patient and understanding. In fact, a few weeks ago when ripped a contact on purpose Dave threw away the WII. (Funny thing about this is that Clare cried more than Calvin. She is a sweet little person). Each contact is supposed to last one month. So far the longest we've made it is 2 weeks. Calvin only gets one contact/month so if he loses it early then he wears glasses until it is time to try the next contact. This month he got his contact April 10th. Tore it up on the bus less than a week later. He will get a new contact May 10th. The crazy thing about this is that he LOVES to wear his contacts and it really only hurts himself if he breaks one. Life all other aspects of Calvin's life I hope that this will pass and he will eventually learn to be more responsible!! I do not like this new blogger format!!!!!!!!! Where has spell check gone?

follow up with Dr. Cohen - cranial facial surgeon

Last week we saw Dr. Cohen, the cranial facial plastic surgeon at Children's hospital. He is a very good surgeon. He runs a very nice plastic surgery practice for adults and works at children's 1 and a 1/2 days a week. Dave says his work at the Children's Hospital is practically charity and that he is there for the love of his patients and the good he does. Dave used to operate with Dr. Cohen 1 day a week when he worked there.

A review of Calvin's head CT shows that his brain is normal and healthy. It also shows some minor deformities of his skull which remain. Dr. Cohen recommends a surgery to correct the recessed brow and forehead area. It is a simple, outpatient procedure. He will use the old scar line on Calvin's head and will go under the skin (but not cut the skull), use liquid bone stuff on top of the current bone to reshape the brow area.

We decided we would go ahead and book the surgery for fall.

When Dave looked carefully over the CT scan he saw several areas where the bone is very thin and also many little holes where the skull. Dave was a bit concerned about this and wondered if we should re-think Calvin's clearance to play football and any other contact sport. Dr. Cohen assures us that the holes are teeny tiny and nothing to worry about. I am not sure that it makes any difference since Calvin is not very athletic but it is nice to know that should he one day try to realize his dream of playing Michigan football, he will allowed to go forward!

1st week

Overall the first week went well.

Good things:
Calvin likes his new school.
He had a good week.
His teacher called today to tell me he had a good day! (they try to re-train parents not to panic when the school calls home)
Calvin was well behaved on the bus when he took it.


Not as good things:
Calvin took the bus only one way each day. It is a long trip to school. Two mornings Calvin wouldn't get on the bus in the morning. Yesterday Calvin did not get on the bus at school to come home. I am hoping we work into a good routine with the bus. I'm not panicking yet since it is just the first week and there is so much new going on. We'll see what the next week brings!

One thing that is really different and is taking some getting used to is not getting daily behavior sheets. For the last year we have gotten detailed reports sent home. Now we get NOTHING at all. We will get a written report quarterly and other than that there is no written communication. I will speak to Calvin's case manager once a week.

are you kidding me?

So Calvin got off the bus today at 4:15. (school gets out at 2:30). I was kind of surprised that it was so late and asked the driver if there was anything unusual about today. She said that they were actually missing two kids so the route is usually going to be LONGER. So, you're telling me my kid is going to have over two hours on the bus ride home each day??!! I think I'll give it a week and then start to make some phone calls. That is pretty insane. Especially since probably all of the kids on the bus are there because they don't know how to behave themselves in school.